coradoe83's Diaryland Diary

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how could you ever think that you were less than me? when it is I who is less deserving of your friendship. you are my jesus and i would not know of anyone else who i would give my life for.

I dont want u to respond i would greatly appreciate it OK so here i go i know u are writting a paper and this is aboslutely cruel of me cause im going to be the guy who said it to u on aim but i dont think i could say this to ur face it is to hard and it would hurt me just as much as it would you i have been thinking lately that holding anger inside Is just something i cant do anymore i dotn want to hold grudges i dont deserve them like other people do.

efy (Autoreply)
AIM
10:56
like you cared to know where i am

Cp Scientist
AIM
11:00
the thing is lately things have change people around me change and i seem to be at a stand still and sometimes we dont express what we are really feeling and keep it all inside and b/c we dont say what we have to say things just get worse so i i am letting u know that im not trying to make this about me and what an idiot i am but about us and that i dont think that u ahve noticed that u have moved on slowly but u have you have so much going for u and so much comming to you and u deserve every single thing b/c u are an amazing person and for that I have felt that

Cp Scientist
AIM
11:07
I am empty and things/words here and there have left me with nothing and made u better than I, I have felt underserving and it dosent matter how i came to feel this way b/c only one other person which was corey has made me feel that way i dont want someone as close u to hate me for not being up to ur level when i say this it feels like i imagined it all and I am being fooolish and pathetic but that is how i feel
11:11
i dont want or even fadam the thought of ever saying it b/c it makes me cry and it makes me hate my self but maybe i have to say it but it feels like our friendship is at a stand still at an end and i get the feeling from u that u feel that way
11:12
maybe i just wasnt good enough
11:13
but i cant change who I am b/c i dont knwo what i am
11:14
maybe u are better off with out me
11:18
im sorry for everything i am sorry im not good enough and I know I cant ask for forgiveness
11:19
the only thing i can say is sorry
11:19
and that is what i had to say thank u for listening

11:35 pm - Monday, Oct. 31, 2005

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