coradoe83's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- another rant about being alone and in need of someone. my dear philip. i miss you still months after i told myself that we would only be friends. i look at your photos, stare at your grim and i think of how much i miss it, how much i neglected all you procided. i get so jealous when i see other guys comment on your page...but iknow i can't do much at all about it. i don't know what to do with myself. i've tried to move on. i've slept with a close friend i had a crush on, that only ended in dissolution, he wasn't as good in bed as you always were. he was a fucking drug addict, and oh just not present like you always were so close to be. then i started going out with this guy who at first seemed like it would be the a great match, at which point i thought i could finally move on and say to myself that i could be just fine with someone else. how short that lasted, was as much as i would last when we'd have sex. hmmm prob less. he failed to do the one thing that just aches me and pisses me more than anything in this shit whole time of my life; not replying calls, getting back and foremost just keeping a fucking date. such a great catch in someone else's eyes. now i invite him over to come and 'cuddle' as i dont' have you anymore, the last time he was here i tried having sex but for some odd reason my butt hole just would not allow it. perhaps the dance belts had irritated, but i'm glad. i miss your slender body next to mine, sweating and slithering on me. i can only hope you miss something about you, i doubt you do. sometimes i write things online so that you'd take a look and maybe reconsider...reconsidered what? i have no idea. i wonder how much longer i ll have to wait to get over this enfatuation. when will i be able to look at your page and if i see a friend's or stranger's comment i wont close my fists right and cream myself filled with anger. 12:39 am - Tuesday, May. 15, 2007 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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